from the jungles

“Make sure you have a small heart; love cautiously – life is all about attaching and detaching. Never become so attached to someone/something that you cannot walk away from them/it.” That’s a paraphrase from something a childhood friend recently mentioned here in Brunei.

Well, I’ve been back for little over a week and it actually has been very good. I really fit in like an old glove…like I never left. In some ways, so much has changed in my 3 years in Canada, in other ways – it’s the same old. My Malay came back, even my Tamil was flawless, to the surprise of my parents and even relatives in India.

What is it like here? I think growing up here was an amazing privilege. From Brunei, you can observe the whole world from a Vantage point. Where else can you watch Australian Idol, listen to London’s Capital FM (we used to be able to anyway), be totally in tune with Hollywood movies, have all the comforts the world has to offer and still be on the best continent on earth? (Asia!)

It’s even weird when I consider when I realize that I have not seen my parents for a period of 3 years. I do not recommend that to anyone. I think growing in your relationship with your parents and family is very important. I recently read something on AskMen.com which talked about the cost of having children in North America (well, it’s about $400,000 over 20 years) and the devastating cost of divorce especially on men (I mention that because, everyone pities the woman but few ever consider that effect that losing your woman, your kids, half your mortgage/assets, paying child support, paying alimony and then getting yourself together to get your career, life and romance on track has…when your about 40 it is purely devastating). I somehow see the Western system for marriage and raising kids a little lacking. There always seems to be this mentality of “what can I get out of this in the end?” I’m sure there are points like that in African and Asian cultures too, but they both seem a lot more selfless.

One amazing thing here has been to see the faith in God of the different people here. I’m very proud of the Youth ministry in my church St. Andrew’s. I really reject the supposed ‘doctrine’ that God will ‘bless’ you materialistically if you follow him and are righteous. I think that is a correlation rather than causation. I am just tired of hearing if you have Jesus in your life, you will become successful. No. You will become successful based on your work ethic, your strategy, your knowledge and your discipline, motivation among other factors. The difference that Jesus makes is that you whole life’s worth is not defined by your successes and there is meaning beyond doing that comes from just being. And I think that having this inner peace and assurance makes it easier for someone to strive better for excellence in whatever it is that they are doing. I know for sure that the most spiritual people that I've ever met are also the poorest financially, so I don't buy the prosperity preaching from North American churches. I don't think Jesus was like that at all. He was homeless to begin with ("the Son of Man does not have a place to lay his head.")

Had great fun hanging out with some childhood friends – can’t believe we’ve known each other for 10 years or more…it’s great having a place to come back to. I think I may eventually end up somewhere in Canada but Brunei will always have a special place in my heart. I will post up pictures in Facebook at the end of the month. I’m probably not going to post again until I get back to Canada in 3 weeks. See ya.

p.s. about the quote to begin with – I really agree with it. There is a word in Chinese called Saosin…I think it signifies something similar. Like Desree sang “got to be hard, but not too too hard.” I’m just glad to have such good friends from all over the world.